January 28, 2010

I Don't Want This Job

One of the rules I have in the quest to GET A JOB is that if I can't understand what the job is after reading the description three times, I don't bother applying. There's a corollary rule that if reading the job description gives me a headache I probably don't want the job.


This job description triggers both rules. In addition it contains more corporate jargon in a few paragraphs than I ever thought possible. The name of company has been redacted in case they ever post a job description in English.

PURPOSE: 
The established North American base of packaging development and graphics commercialization continues to evolve and incorporate cross-functional and global participation rather than sole proprietorship and will require a robust technical vision, resulting in a more refined and intuitive deliverable.

DECISION MAKING:
This role shall represent Supply Technical’s graphic commercialization view and provide direction to project teams. Key decisions in this role shall evolve around building leadership strategies for the graphics packaging/print commercialization group that drive and deliver: optimal efficiencies and functionalities, people development, commercially viable graphics technology advancements, and a visionary goal to have the group globally recognized and benchmarked against other CPG leaders as a highly creative world-class graphics commercialization.

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:
This role shall execute graphic commercialization programs from innovative concept to commercialization, whilst providing financial guidance and delivering required cost and growth targets and guaranteed quality standards utilizing the [redacted] process. In addition, this role shall fiscally manage the graphic commercialization group’s expenses against budget. Manage and develop key third party strategic pre-press vendor(s) to improve [redacted] capabilities and optimize costs against the annual spend.

MANAGEMENT RESPONSIBILITY:
The Director provides leadership and direction to direct reports, external reports and counsel the organization at large.

COMPLEXITY OF ROLE:
The role operates within the America’s market and reports into the Brand Change leadership team. This role will work with a diversity of internal and external stakeholder groups across [redacted's] Supply and Demand organizations to ensure alignment and execution excellence. Other complexities include the capability to drive and deliver: (1) Strong depth and knowledge of the graphic commercialization /pre-press process in order to rapidly search and spin opportunities to enhance the graphic commercialization pace and quality execution, (2) balancing the needs of the business against other timing, financial and sustainability targets, (3) ability to put people components in place and develop a high performing team

KEY OUTPUTS/DELIVERABLES:
Accountable and responsible for the development and visionary optimization of the end-to-end print packaging process for [redacted] Americas with an influence globally. As a leader, key accountability as the leader of the graphic commercialization team to develop a vision, robust strategy and planning guidance to meet the needs of the America’s business. In addition, a key deliverable of this role is to refine, build and develop the commercialization team into a globally recognized high performance team. This role shall provide the leadership and guidance needed to build graphic commercialization capability locally and globally. Consult, guide, and support the CSM, innovation, trade-marketing and packaging development teams on the graphics requirement for all design concepts to ensure alignment of the brand strategy. Manage and develop key third party strategic pre-press vendor(s) to improve Diageo capabilities and drive costs out. Significant contributor on cross-functional teams aimed at delivering strategic objectives

EXPERIENCE: 
Minimum 12-15 years packaging / printing development knowledge and experience and recognition as a subject matter expert on print commercialization and prepress. Excellent package design through package printing knowledge - Outstanding customer / consumer focus- Proven track record of senior management capabilities
Diageo is an Equal Opportunity Employer committed to equal, fair, and non-discriminatory treatment of all employees as well as candidates for employment. Our benefits include, but are not limited to: paid holidays, competitive compensation packages; health insurance; and 401K

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 08:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment


State of The One

I watched about 10 minutes of the State of the Union Address last night. I have a really hard time listening to The One for two reasons. One I don't like his collectivist/statist politics and two I find the cadence of his speech incredibly annoying.


I turned the speech on when it was in progress just in time to hear The One go after the Big Banks and talk about his special BIG Bank Tax to get back "every dime" of TARP money. Even if that means getting some more back from people banks that already paid back their TARP money with interest.

If anything, the Big Bank Tax should teach bankers that you never play a game with the guy who makes the rules. Whether or not you think TARP was a good idea (I don't) there were terms to the deal. The government gives you money (regardless of whether you want or need it) then after you get through the crisis you pay it back with interest.

Apparently some banks did that. They got themselves to a place where they could pay the money back with interest. Hurray TATP worked. The banks are solid and making money. The banks are happy to be in the black again so they did what they always do when they are happy and profitable - they paid bonuses.

That does not sit will with The One. So he's going to change the rules and tax them some more.

All that aside, there was about five minutes of other stuff that I can't remember between the Big Bank Tax part of the speech and the part of the speech dealing with financial regulatory reform which he opened by saying "I don't want to punish banks."

That's when I turned it off.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment


January 25, 2010

The One Disses Bill and Hillary

The one apparently tried to convince another red state Democrat not to resign and in doing so slapped a serious diss on the Clintons.


Berry recounted meetings with White House officials, reminiscent of some during the Clinton days, where he and others urged them not to force Blue Dogs “off into that swamp” of supporting bills that would be unpopular with voters back home.

“I’ve been doing that with this White House, and they just don’t seem to give it any credibility at all,” Berry said. “They just kept telling us how good it was going to be. The president himself, when that was brought up in one group, said, ‘Well, the big difference here and in ’94 was you’ve got me.’ We’re going to see how much difference that makes now.” [snip]

“I began to preach last January that we had already seen this movie and we didn’t want to see it again because we know how it comes out,” said Arkansas’ 1st District congressman, who worked in the Clinton administration before being elected to the House in 1996... "I just began to have flashbacks to 1993 and ’94. No one that was here in ’94, or at the day after the election felt like. It certainly wasn’t a good feeling.”

I imagine there were a few more expletives than usual in the Clinton household.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 07:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment


January 24, 2010

More Global Warming Fraud

As a kid watching the exploits of Chief Jay Strongbow and Captain Lou Albano I knew on some level that the WWF was fake.


As an adult when the World Wrestling Federation was forced to change it's name to World Wrestling Entertainment I still had a sense about the WWF.

The claim that Himalayan glaciers are set to disappear by 2035 rests on two 1999 magazine interviews with glaciologist Syed Hasnain, which were then recycled without any further investigation in a 2005 report by the environmental campaign group WWF.

It would seem that the claim in the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's Nobel Prize wining report that Himalayan glaciers will be melted by 2035 is a complete fiction. Utter Bullshit. Crap that some guy just made up.

Are you exhibiting the same lack of surprise at this news that I am?

What's more, the man responsible for including this fiction in the IPCC report, Dr, Murari Lai the coordinating author of the Asia section of the report, acknowledges that is was done for political reasons.

In an interview with The Mail on Sunday, Dr Lal, the co-ordinating lead author of the report’s chapter on Asia, said: ‘It related to several countries in this region and their water sources. We thought that if we can highlight it, it will impact policy-makers and politicians and encourage them to take some concrete action.

‘It had importance for the region, so we thought we should put it in.’

I guess this kind of gives the lie claim that Global Warming is about "settled science" and not about advancing global socialism under the guise of environmentalism.

But Wait... There's More!

It seems that the Chairman of the IPCC, Rajendra Pachauri, has effectively use the vanishing Himalayan glacier lie as an effective fundraising tool.

The latest disclosure: Rajendra Pachauri, chairman of the UN's (formerly) prestigious Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (known as the IPCC), may have raised millions of dollars for his New Delhi institute on the basis of the totally bogus 'glaciergate' claim by the IPCC that the Himalayan glaciers would melt by 2035. 

According the the London Times, Pachauri's institute got money from the European Union and the US-based Carnegie Corporation to investigate a prediction that never had any scientific backing whatever, and one which all serious glacier scientists instantly recognized as impossible. The bogus claim was frequently repeated in the fundraising efforts -- and reiterated as recently as January 15 when the IPCC was already under intense pressure to admit it had blundered.

I think it would be interesting if the justice department launched a RICO investigation of the United Nations. I know there's probably some diplomatic immunity built into it's charter, but outside of the U.S. Congress is there any more corrupt organization on the planet?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 01:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment


January 23, 2010

Parental Guidance Recommended

I have always believed that it is the responsibility of parents to monitor what their children watch on television. To me this meant that my nine-year-old son wasn't watching late night movies on Cinemax or catching a showing of Pulp Fiction. Shield him from sex and violence. That was my job.


I was wrong. There's more to it than that and what follows is offered so that other parents can avoid the mistake I made.

It happened during a recent trip to Maine to visit my mother. On night, after the crowd of cousins brothers, sisters nieces, nephews uncle and aunts left we found ourselves relaxing in front of the television. I don't know who was controlling the remote or if it was just chance, but we were watching Food Network. Specifically their cooking contest ala American Idol called Chopped.

The premise of the show is that four chefs are given a basket of ingredients and 20 minutes to make them into an appetizer. Their creations are judged and one chef is chopped. Repeat the process with new ingredients and 30 minutes to create an entrée. Another chef is chopped and the remaining two get new ingredients to make a desert. The winner gets $10,000.

If it sounds rather blah consider that in one recent episode the basket contained, carrot juice, beats, hominy and white chocolate chips. These were the ingredients for desert!

I think we saw three episodes that night until there was episode of Iron Chef America.

Life has never been the same since.

Tonight I asked the boy what he wanted to have for dinner and he said he wanted some of the left over pepperoni pizza from last night. "But do like Iron chef and add a little pizzaz."

There I was in my own kitchen stadium faced with the challenge of Iron Chef left over pizza.

I should point out that the judge in this case if a particularly picky eater, with a particularly narrow palette. When I asked what he meant bi pizzaz the only thing I was told was "just don't put hot sauce on it."

Here is what I created.

Take two slices of pizza out of the fridge and microwave them for about 30-45 seconds to warm them up and loosen up the oils in the crust.

Add some extra cheese to one slice then put the two slices together - toppings in the middle.

Put this assembly into a hot non stick frying pan. It shouldn't require and additional oil beyond what is in the pizza but if you added a little flavored olive oil or even a little butter it probably wouldn't do any harm!

By the time the first side had heated through, the crust will be nice and crisp, flip it over and do the other side. By the time the second side is heated through and the crust is nice and crisp the cheese will be all nice and meted and gooey.

Pour a glass of the beverage of your choice and enjoy a fried pizza sandwich.

I've been informed my next challenge is "Iron Chef Cheetos."

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 08:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment


January 22, 2010

A New Hope. A New T-shirt? UPDATED

There has been enough change lately, that there is now almost cause for hope. The news this week has been filled the failures of progressives in their attempts to diminish our liberty.


What insignificant amount of climate accord that was reached in Copenhagen has crumbled.

Air America has officially shut down and declared a financial bankruptcy to match its intellectual and moral bankruptcies.

The voters in Massachusetts elected a republican to replace a Kennedy ending the Democrat's 60 vote supermajority in the Senate.

The health care takeover, though not quite dead has reached the state of the Terminator at the end of the first movie. A head and an arm futilely dragging itself toward a goal it can never reach.

The Supreme Court restored some meaning to the Constitution and the First Amendment by decimating the McCain/Fiengold incumbent protection act.

It's a fairly safe bet that with the Massachusetts election, Cap and Tax is dead.

If the news keeps going like this, I might just have to scrap my entire collection of Socialism Sucks t-shirts and replace them with "Socialism Lost."


UPDATE: It just keeps getting better! Scripps and Cabelvision have come to some sort of agreement and Food TV is back on the air

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 01:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment


January 20, 2010

The Politics of Projection

First, Congratulations to Scott Brown for his victory in the Massachusetts special election. And to the people of Massachusetts, thank you for electing the 41st vote against socialized medicine.


The headline on this story should be "Obama Lost. Again."

And I think I understand part of why he lost, and why his poll numbers have sunk so incredibly fast, and why so many are so disappointed with his presidency.

I have seen many write-ups on the content of his speech on behalf of massachusetts Democrat Martha Coakley. The elitist condescension of his repeated barbs at Scott Brown's truck while well received in the elitist crowd he was delivering them to, were probably seen as insulting by a good portion of the electorate. Outside of the Boston area elites there are probably a lot of truck owners in Mass.

But what really struck me was his pathetic attempt to blame his failure on George Bush.

Appearing at a rally at Northeastern University here, President Obama said out-of-power Republicans had taken advantage of the economic crisis to make Democrats the political fall guy during difficult times.

"We’re going to let them make the tough choices, and let them rescue the economy, and then we’re going to tap into that anger and frustration," was how Obama described the GOP strategy -- deeming it a "sleight of hand...."

"There were going to be some who stood on the sidelines, who were protectors of the big banks, protectors of the big insurance companies, protectors of the big drug companies who were going to say, 'You know what, we can take advantage of this crisis,'" [Obama] told the crowd.

Let's take a closer look at that last statement.

"There were going to be some who stood on the sidelines..." Who exactly was it who stood on the sidelines and allowed congress to create "his" economic stimulus package and turn it into cesspool of pork barrel spending? Who was it who stood on the sidelines and let congress create multiple irreconcilable versions of healthcare reform? Whose presidency can be most accurately described as making speeches from the sidelines instead of leading?

"who were protectors of the big banks..." Whose Tax Cheat of the Treasury used the AIG bailout to funnel money to big banks? Who is it that repeatedly points to having stabilized the banking industry as an example of his success? Which administration made a Christmas Eve announcement that it was going to provide unlimited financial support to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?

"protectors of the big insurance companies..." Who was it that was supporting legislation mandating that EVERYONE buy health insurance from big insurance companies? Who is it trying to make it illegal to deny someone their mandatory insurance due to a pre-existing condition resulting in higher premium costs for everyone?
 
"protectors of the big drug companies..." Remind me who it was that negotiated a deal with the pharmaceutical industry promising not to have medicare and the public option "negotiate" lower drug prices in exchange for industry support for health care reform?

"who were going to say, 'You know what, we can take advantage of this crisis'..." I agree it is deplorable and disgusting politics for a member of any presidential administration to say something like "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste."

When I heard him give that part of his speech, I had to wonder if someone from the Brown campaign had hacked into his teleprompter. Did he really think is would work to lay the blame for everything wrong with his administration on his opposition? Did he really think that people are stupid enough to believe that?

There was a brief glimmer of hope when The One accepted responsibility for the security failures that lead to the failed Undie Bomber attack. But given how he wants to assign the failures of his administration to anyone else it seems that moment was more like the kid dragged back to the store to return the candy bar he lifted. Contrite because he had to be. The lesson clearly not learned.

Epic Fail. 

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 09:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment


January 18, 2010

Where's the Mayo?

OK so what little has been posted here has been mostly fluff. Long gone is the pretense of offering insightful analysis of the days events. When I started there were two basic categories for my posts, "this amuses me" and "this pisses me off." Lately it's been kind of "whatever."


Sorry.

Project "GET A JOB" takes up a lot of time as well as mental and emotional energy. I wish I had some great news to report on that subject. There are a couple of possibilities on the table but nothing concrete enough to talk about. I am excited that a couple of them don't involve moving.

I've managed to do a few projects to keep busy and have a couple of good possible projects in the maybe stage. It also seems that regardless of what I want, if I want to keep earning money I'm going to have to get better at web work. Of the projects I've done, two were videos, one was a flash piece for someone's web site, two were web pages. The three projects that may happen soon are all web sites.

Did I mention that I really don't want to do web sites for a living?

I did have fun doing this site for a candy shoppe: http://sweetteezlarchmont.com/. I built that one from scratch.

I have also been seriously considering the idea of possibly dabbling in fiction. I haven't done any fiction writing in about 15 years. I decided to seriously consider thinking about possibly trying after watching Lemonade. It made me think about what it was I wanted to do when I was young and invincible.

I haven't stopped paying attention to the world. I'm keeping an eye on the
latest shameless power grabs in Washington and how they are slowly taking away the last of our liberty.

Looking forward to the special election in Massachusetts tomorrow. I really hope Scott Brown can pull it off. Because when hear the expression Teddy Kennedy's seat the only thing I can think of is his passenger seat. If they manage to pass their healthcare takeover that's where we'll all be sitting.

I'm really annoyed by the tenor and volume of the right wing blogs' endless blather about the movie Avatar. I haven't seen the movie and until it's on cable some night when I can't sleep I probably won't. The thing is, so many bloggers are so worked up over the movies left wing message. So what. It's a movie. Go. Have overpriced popcorn. Enjoy the fantasy for a couple of hours. 

Get. Over. Yourselves. 

If you want there to be more conservative themed movies, make one. Finance one. Do something other than whine that the Hollywood left doesn't agree with you. You're a conservative. The Hollywood left is never going to agree with you. Deal with it.

Every day seems to bring some new evidence that the entire foundation of the Climate Change movement is a pile of stinking excrement. I'll file that under "this amuses me."

You know what? This was fun. I may have to do this more often.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 09:30 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment


January 06, 2010

Another One Bites The Dust

The best news out of the Senate in a very long time:


Chris Dodd (D-Countrywide) will not seek re-election.

This does of course raise the specter that Connecticut will do something really stupid like send Attorney General Richard Blumenthal to the Senate, but at least the GOP will not have to deal with a corrupt incumbent.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 08:20 AM | No Comments | Add Comment


January 04, 2010

I am Beyond Hope

CNBC is showing the documentary Welcome to Macintosh.




Yes. I'm watching it.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 09:43 PM | No Comments | Add Comment


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