I have made mention of this in the past, but this is not the first edition of Hold the Mayo. If you count the original Blogspot home of this site, this is actually the Third Edition. The first edition was a weekly column written for my college newspaper, the Daily Maine Campus. The Maine Campus was the student newspaper of the University of Maine at Orono and was put out by the school's journalism department. Yes my fellow pajama clad members of the Vast Right Wing Blogging Conspiracy, I have a degree in journalism In fact I found it today in a box in the garage. Which is about all I need to say about that.

I also found the clipping folders. Some editorials, some op-ed commentaries and some of the original Hold The Mayo columns. I thought since I went so far as to post really old really bad fiction I found in a box in the garage I have to post an old column as well. In doing so, I am going to partially break one of my most important blogging new year's resolutions. The original column carried a photo of the author, and I have vowed to never put my picture on the site. But since I all I have is low res digital image of a yellowed clipping of a picture that looks nothing like me, I'll let it pass. So enjoy the rough and ready young journalist with the neck tie, open collar and cheesy mustache. It's far from current reality but as close as you will get.

Today's further embarrassment is in the extended entry. Hold the Mayo

Arms Sale

Recently I discovered an interesting magazine in the reading room of Lord Hall. The magazine is the official publication of the Navy League of the United States and in titled Sea Power.

What made the magazine interesting was not, however, the stories it contained (the truth be known I didn't read any of them) but the advertising the magazine carried. On the inside of the front cover of the December 1984 issue is an ad from the Northrop Corporation, and McDonnell Douglas. What the ad is selling is the F/A-18A Strike Fighter, a plane designed for use with aircraft cariers.

On page seven is another ad from McDonnell Douglas. The headline on the ad reads, “When the target's alert and heavily defended, send in a Tomohawk.” The rest of the ad goes on to extoll the virtues of the Tomahawk Missile.

On page 38 there is an ad from British Aerospace selling a number of fine products. Included in this ad are: the Seawolf missile, the Sea Suka, the Sea Eagle, the Ikara and the light weight Sea Dart.

There's an ad from RCA for the missile and surface radar used on the AEGIS class cruiser. And an ad from Rolls Royce for the Av-8B Harrier II.

On the back cover, an ad from the Harris Corporation for weapons systems support.

So this is how the Navy finds out what is on the market for new weapons. I guess if you're going to sell missiles and jet fighters to the government, you have to advertise.

There is one advertising ploy they didn't use, however, but I can't imagine why.

None of the ads included discount coupons.

It's actually a feasible notion. All it would take would be a simple clip out coupon to be redeemed upon the signing of a contract.

A sample could be as follows:

“Save $10,000 with this free coupon when you buy three Exocet Missiles. Just clip out and save. Offer expires 1/1/88, void where prohibited or regulated.”

Everybody would benefit. The corporations would be able to attract more contracts, and the military would save money on new weapons.

Or perhaps Boeing could have a sale. When they've developed a new generation of jet fighter, they could offer the outdated model at 25 percent off, sort of a clearance sale.

Such sound advertising practices would also lead military contractors to another innovation. A method used by many manufactures to get rid of merchandise that doesn't quite meet quality control standards. They could open factory outlets with stores all over the globe.

There could be a Boeing Factory Outlet, the McDonnell Douglas Factory Outlet and even the British Aerospace Factory Outlet. The corporations would unload a lot of weapons at low prices that they couldn't otherwise sell, and nations all over the globe could cut their defense budgets.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at 04:32 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment

1 That was great! And still fresh, too.

p.s. Loved the picture. Very intense.

Posted by: RP at April 18, 2005 03:21 AM (LlPKh)

2 Haven't read the extended entry yet.

I remember when I met you that I thought immediately that most of your face was in your eyes -- f'ya know what I mean. So, the glasses plus that mustache and hair "style" make you nearly unrecognizable!

I go click the extended now...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 18, 2005 05:24 PM (Ns1Gb)

3 LOL! That's some impressive "executive thinking" for a college boy!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 18, 2005 05:30 PM (Ns1Gb)

4 No apology needed Stephen ,that was years ago ,
Geraldo still looks like that and he changes Outfits more than Brittany Spears

Posted by: skinner at April 18, 2005 09:09 PM (5qKGR)

5 My appologies Stephen but I just , feel the need, to comment on a ,more, current issue. This is an issue that, for the life of me ,I cant figuere out , Youve blatantly avoided . The election of the next Pontiff. The cardinals are all in the Vatican , struggling over theyre dicision. I heard on the news today that the people have a real strong Idea of what theyed like to see in the next Pope. Allthough Im not catholic it made me do some soul searching . Ther pope is a Global Entity now so we all need to be "involved", in my judgement. I came to the conclusion that I would like the NEW POPE to ,also, be a deeply religious man and wear a beany cap with the gown thing and that big gold cross also. Plus the pope mobile needs to be re-detailed

Posted by: skinner at April 18, 2005 09:27 PM (5qKGR)

6 Oh great the smoke clears and weve got a German pope Im not one to jump to conclusions
, with the fact that Germany is full of Neo Nazis now , and judging by What the Catholic church did, {OR DIDNT DO] , To stop the holocaust during WW2 Im thinking 'Holocaust 2' Thank god Im not Jewish either Whos next
Atheists

Posted by: skinner at April 19, 2005 09:02 PM (Dk8ax)

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